| Tough City. |
[29 Apr 2006|03:01pm] |
It's never a good day when you've spent most of it throwing up. I suppose it all began when the coffee shop I work at started to carry these meat & veggie pies. Apparently the meat ones are quite tasty, but I've only had the vegan pie, for reasons you can figure out. We hardly sell any; they're expensive by New York standards. So, at about 7pm every day, they need to change out the vegan pie, because it just looks disgusting. Now, I have never been a fan of throwing away food. Just because it looks degenerate doesn't mean it's lost its nutritional value (of which it has much!) Thus, around 7pm, every day, I eat a degenerate vegan pie. This fact caught up with me yesterday morning as I was riding the subway into Manhattan. It is difficult do encapsulate with words the combination of preexisting physical nausea with the addition of the New York City subway system. I didn't throw up on the subway, but as soon as I arrived in Manhattan, I knew I couldn't go to my physics meeting that morning. I emailed my professor from the cafe, and decided to wait until I felt stable enough to ride the subway back. You know those indicator lights on the subway that tell you how far you are from your destination? Ten billion watts. I could feel the indicator lights burning into my eyelids, which were very closed. I'd estimate the trip took approximately two ice ages. I got off the subway, and began the excruciating three-block venture toward my building. Public vomiting is a funny thing; after it's happened, there's nothing you can really do about it. It's not like you can really apologize to the onlookers, or attempt to clean it up. What can you do? Just step over the vomit you've created, and try to get home before you do it again. There are enough crackheads in my neighborhood that it wasn't too strange a thing for people to witness at 2pm on a Friday, but I suppose now there's no way I'll ever convince them that I'm not a crackhead. All in all, I'd say throwing up in the toilet is the way to go. The bucket by the bedside is convenient, but the toilet is self-cleaning (to some extent).
I'm not a crackhead. I just ate a bad vegan pie.
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| From Sean Carroll's An Introduction to General Relativity, Spacetime and Geometry. |
[23 Apr 2006|03:47pm] |
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A space monkey is happily orbiting a Swarzchild black hole in a circular geodesic orbit. An evil baboon, far from the black hole, tries to send the monkey to its death inside the black hole by dropping a coconut radially toward the black hole, knowing that the monkey can't resist catching the falling coconut. Given the monkey's mass and initial orbial radius and the mass of the coconut, explain how you would go about solving the problem (but do not do the calculation). What are the possible fates for our intrepid space monkey?
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[09 Apr 2006|03:31am] |
Know what has been bugging the crap out of me since middle school, and I didn't even realize it until now?
In the movie Cool Runnings, you remember how that one guy used to take a lucky egg with him everywhere?
Where the hell did he keep it when he was racing?
His outfit didn't have any fucking pockets, I can tell you that right now. Just spandex, top to bottom. Apparently he carried an egg with him in his spandex outfit on dozens of breakneck-speed bobsled runs, without cracking the egg once. If grade-school health class tells us anything, that guy will make a great father.
I can't believe this has been aggrivating my brain for over a decade. Cool Runnings may indeed be responsible for a future brain tumor.
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| History Repeats Itself. |
[10 Mar 2006|04:37pm] |
History Repeats Itself.
I was taking my "midterm" yesterday in my "class" that I am "taking" at "Columbia", on "General Relativity", when I noticed that most of the problems on the midterm are the same questions I had asked myself at some point while my mind was drifting on a lazy afternoon, and solved in my head while, say, sitting on the toilet. So I wrote down the solutions to these "test questions", mostly to keep myself busy for the hour and a half I had to sit through this midterm, and then I sat around doing other random calculations, largely unrelated to the calculations I was doing for the midterm. When I got bored of that, I started to gaze around the classroom, looking at the other students, who were still feverishly grinding away at the test. The realization then hit me that ALL of these motherfuckers had been accepted into Columbia, while I had not. Twice.
I'm going to find a way to make all of this pay off. You just watch.
You heard it here first.
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[06 Mar 2006|07:36pm] |
Things that are neat:
1. I get free drinks at many different bars in the lower east side. This is apparently one of the perks of working at alt.coffee. I have already twice gotten way more loaded than I have over the past year. I'm not sure yet as to whether this is a good thing.
2. Physics is damn sweet. I've been studying a great deal of geometry, and geometric concepts in physics. Apparently all large-scale physics can be entirely described through differential geometry. That's right, not just gravity, but everything. Except quantum mechanics.
3. At work, I kicked out my first jacking-off guy. It wasn't as traumatizing an experience as I thought it would be. Actually pretty simple. I told him to get the fuck out, and he did.
That's all I can think of for now.
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[13 Feb 2006|09:43am] |
Today I marched from one corner of Central Park to the other, through two feet of snow. As if that wasn't hardcore enough, I decided I might as well take the rest of my journey to the lower east side on foot, seeing as how I'd just completed a task that I imagine few have attempted. So, I marched through much of new york. All in all, the trip went from Columbia University to Alt.Coffee, and looked approximately like ( this. )
Only replace the green with white. TWO FEET of white. In VEGAN SHOES. I would estimate the trip to have been something in the range of 7-8 miles. That's 118800 cubic feet of snow (assuming my stride is about 1.5 feet wide).
You may now comment, with the expected replies being "Why the hell did you do that?" or "Dude your AWESUME 2 THa MAXXXX."
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[12 Feb 2006|12:31pm] |
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Snow Day!
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[31 Jan 2006|06:18pm] |
Why would you use the word "minimalist" as an adjective?
Why not just "minimal"?
Also, happy birthday to Mike in four days.
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[12 Jan 2006|05:07pm] |
I will be computerless/phoneless for a few days.
For some reason, I felt the need to voice this fact on Livejournal, which is practically dead to me at this point.
That was kind of a pun.
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[20 Dec 2005|02:18pm] |
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So, who do YOU blame for the MTA employee strike in New York? Because there's a lot of angry feelings out there to be directed toward someone...
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[08 Dec 2005|05:23pm] |
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I just invented vegan fettucine alfredo. After eating it, I feel pretty gross, so I think I got it right on.
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| Playing Hooky |
[07 Dec 2005|10:53am] |
Subways were being total bastards last night... got home around 2am, and if I wanted to get to class I'd have to get up at 7am, then stay awake through two lectures, and a period of five hours sitting in an art gallery. That just won't work for me. Unfortunately, I had to skip class this morning, but it's okay because my particle physics course was just going to be student presentations, and the quantum field theory course is currently doing stuff I've seen before, so it shouldn't be too bad. I just hate missing class. Of course, it's worse to actually show up, then fall asleep in class. Then you're just being a bastard. Like the subways.
I wish it was possible to live near things in this city.
That is, to live near things, and to also work minimal hours per week.
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[05 Dec 2005|11:02pm] |
Forgot to mention... Snow here!
By which I mean, it has snowed/is currently snowing here. And it is fairly awesome.
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[03 Dec 2005|10:59am] |
Ho Ho Ho
Happy Holidays, from all of us at Paul's Livejournal!
Insert parody of some christmas song here.
And for the love of god, let it not be "the 12 days of christmas".
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| Here's Something! |
[20 Nov 2005|12:23pm] |
Okay, kids, it's time for the Cell Phone Incident:
It was the night of the big Jason Webley show. Rose, Echo, Lyle and I had just found a parking spot and were about to go inside. I was driving my parents' Dodge minivan. The thing you have to understand about my parents' dodge minivan, is that there's a hole in the side of the plastic interior which leads to the inside of the walls of the van. It's a completely useless and fairly annoying hole, and tonight, the hole was mistaken for a shelf. Rose mistakenly placed her cell phone in this "shelf" and it disappeared into the walls of the van. Well, I wasn't about to try dealing with the situation at the moment, considering the show was almost starting. I suggested we wait until after the show.
The show was pretty damn awesome.
After the show, we went back to the car to try to fish Rose's cell phone out of the insides of the walls. My arm did not appear to be long enough. More accurately, the hole was just big enough to allow about 5/6 of my arm through it. After several minutes of the two of us (Rose & me) stretching our arms down this hole in the side of my van, Rose suggested we search for something with which to fish them out. Looking in a nearby pocket, I found my SUSPENDERS which I had lost a couple of months ago. This had nothing to do with our evening's adventure, but it made me pretty damn happy. At one point, the phone started ringing, and by the fluorescent light emanations, we could determine how far down the phone probably was. It was decided that Rose give it one last shot; the length of the drop was just about exactly the length of her arm. So, as I pulled open the hole to make it wider, Rose stretched as far down as she could, until she was actually touching the phone with her fingertips. At this point she made a face like I can only begin to describe. It was like the amazement of discovery, and the renewed hope of success, combined with the potential terror of accidentally pushing the phone further away. From there on the facial expressions only got better. As she slowly pulled the phone closer to her hand, her face began to shift into excited determination. Suddenly, a sound escaped from her lips. It was unmistakably an "it's over" sort of sound. The smile on her face was impossible to replicate or imitate. The phone was grasped tightly in her hand, as she began to triumphantly pull her arm out from the hole in the van.
The End.
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[15 Nov 2005|08:29pm] |
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Now that I have my nintendo here, my life has become far more fulfilling. Yesterday I beat mega man 4, and today I beat mega man 3. What to do tomorrow? Oh, wait. I have a job to do tomorrow. Well, then the next day.
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[13 Nov 2005|10:22pm] |
So, I just got visited by a ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) musicbum today! Dude, the guy just got on a bus, and decided to ride it all the way to New York! It was a pretty awesome birthday present (not that it was intended as a birthday present, but I consider it one nonetheless), although I didn't have much to offer in the way of entertainment. Well, we had simpsons, and I guess you can't go wrong with that. Sweet-ass awesome times. Other news to follow some day.
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| Incidents |
[10 Nov 2005|08:48pm] |
Remind me to tell you about
1 The vacate order incident
2 The cell phone incident
3 The david bowie incident
I don't have time to write about these things now.
(Just kidding about the third one, Rose)
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